So what do you want to know?

MoniqueWillKnow@gmail.com


*Disclaimer*

Please don't go basing your PhD Thesis on anything I write here.
The information I provide comes with no guarantee of accuracy, and I'm just as likely to provide the most entertaining answer, as I am the factually correct answer.

**There are clickable links on some words to enhance your reading experience. Click them. You should. They're blue; it'll make their day**

Sunday 10 July 2011

Frantic Frock Find



Kellie types -

"Now you're the only person I feel I can turn to....the weather girl on Channel 7 news (Sarah Cumming) was wearing a really pretty red 50's style dress on Wednesday night. I NEED to find out where I can get the dress. Any ideas where to start?"


Hi Kellie!

Thanks for your question and your faith in me and my Googling skills. Thank you also for allowing me to post your question on my blog without your permission.

Firstly, I must apologise, but I don't know who Sarah Cumming is as I don't watch the news much and my religious beliefs forbid me from acknowledging the dark art of weather forecasting. Luckily for you and your dilemma, Google searches are kosher.

However, Google search results for "Sarah" and "Cumming" are NOT kosher. In fact, they are quite shocking and rather on the messy side. So let's try it again, this time with the additional search term "news".


Ooooooh, yes, yes, yes, I know who you mean now. Pretty. Blond. Has teeth. Fond of red dresses.

Further delving reveals that Sarah has a tribute page dedicated to her and her wardrobe.
Unfortunately it's a dead end for us on the trail of the red 50's dress she wore last week, as the page hasn't been updated since December 2010 when Neil Mitchell from 3AW Radio complained about Sarah's flirty cleavage being "very un-television".

In my experience, radio hosts are generally suited to this faceless medium because they are "very un-television".

Anyway, I think it's time to consider employing some professional methods to track down the outfit and ask ourselves - what would Scotland Yard do?

And so, after a milky cup of tea and a biscuit in a greasy spoon cafe, I'm back on the case, no closer to an answer for you.

At this point (10 minutes in), I'm finding myself off-task, Googling the etymology of "greasy spoon" (fast-service diners in the US served food cooked in lard and the high turnover of customers meant cutlery wasn't always cleaned thoroughly enough before being passed on to the next fat-bastard) and this lapse in concentration is given the freedom to run wild and free. Inevitably I find myself on Facebook and Twitter, getting my hourly fix of friends' status updates and minor celebrity self-promotion.

Minor Celebrity.

Sarah Cumming.

By George Negus, I think I've got it!

Yes, just as I had hoped, Sarah has a Twitter account. Even more perfect is that she created it only 2 days ago which means she'll be desperate to reach out to her fledgling Twitter followers to show them she cares about them and their regional climate trends.



A few hours later...







Result!





















Well, will you look at that! To escalate the joy, we now also hold the honour of being the addressees of Sarah's second ever Tweet! And they said a Bachelor of Arts* would get me nowhere. Ha!

Using the search terms "dress flare" on the ASOS website, I think I have managed to find your coveted frock.

Like a retro card-trick magician, to the sound of a snare drum roll, I now ask you -

Kellie, is this your dress?


"Yes Monique, that's it! But I've decided I don't really need another dress. Thanks anyway"

Bitch.




* I don't have a Bachelor of Arts




By Monique Kowalczyk

So what do you want to know?
MoniqueWillKnow@gmail.com

*Disclaimer*
Please don't go basing your PhD Thesis on anything I write here.The information I provide comes with no guarantee of accuracy, and I'm just as likely to provide the most entertaining answer, as I am the factually correct answer.

Friday 8 July 2011

Why was Frankie Boyle's joke about Katie Price's disabled son Harvey funny?

It wasn't.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, read this, watch the video if you have time, and get up to speed before reading on. Click here to read the Mamamia article about it, which also has a video imbedded.

In short, a UK comedian made a premeditated  "joke" on television that suggested the profoundly disabled son of glamour model Katie Price a.k.a. Jordan, wants to rape her. Nice.

First - I love irreverent humour and there is very little that offends me. Even if it is a touchy subject for me, I can still "get" the joke or pun, although I may not laugh. Some things however, do not contain a joke; they're just shocking and crass. Saying it's a joke, doesn't make it one.

Second - I think Frankie Boyle is funny and witty. That doesn't mean all his jokes are though.

Third - For the most part, I believe adult celebrities who make money by putting themselves in the spotlight, as opposed to their talent, are open to being the butt of jokes and need to take it on the chin. Harvey is not an adult, or a celebrity in his own right and he doesn't put himself in the spotlight; so he doesn't qualify for this.

So let's start.


While I think making a joke about a disabled boy is low, there is an even lower base to Frankie Boyle's comment that most seem to have overlooked. 


People have been angered by this "joke", and rightly so, because they believe it's wrong to make fun of an innocent boy who suffers a multitude of disabilities.

But I think it goes even further into the offensive waters, by making the crux of the "joke" about a 9 year old boy raping his mother.


Jokes, even inappropriate or offensive ones, are only funny if there is an element of truth in them. Which means Frankie Boyle must believe, consciously or unconsciously, that there must be some truth in the possibility that Harvey would rape his mother.

If Frankie had said that about her other, non-disabled son Junior, no one would have laughed because it’s not funny or clever. It’s inappropriate, disgusting, paedophillic and has only one purpose – to anger or disgust people. Neither of which comes under the banner of “comedy” or “joke”. It couldn’t even be considered a cheap gag, because there is nothing funny about it at all. Something being shocking or going-too-far, doesn’t automatically make it a joke. It’s just weird and wrong.

If he believes his comment was just an attack against Katie Price, and not against Harvey, then why didn't he make the joke about Junior, her other son?

Because he doesn’t believe there is any truth in the possibility of Junior raping his mother.

Ergo, the only conclusion you can draw is that Frankie, and the audience members who laughed at the joke, believe the joke to be funny based purely on the unique attribute of Harvey – which is his disability. I'd like to think that the audience members went along with the joke in a group-think manner. I often get into a rhythm of laughing at something and giggle in anticipation of the joke, only to realise after my loud guffaw that it actually wasn't funny. While the audience can be forgiven for being put on the spot, Frankie can not. This was a scripted, practised and premeditated stand-up routine.

Therefore, Frankie must believe that disabled people are more capable and inclined to rape than non-disabled people.

That has to be the most ignorant, ridiculously pathetic idea I have ever heard and I defy anyone to successfully explain to me where the joke is. And trust me, while I may not always admit to it, I can find humour in some of the lowest, dirtiest and most obscure places possible. Not this time. All I can see is filth.




By Monique Kowalczyk

So what do you want to know?
MoniqueWillKnow@gmail.com

*Disclaimer*
Please don't go basing your PhD Thesis on anything I write here.
The information I provide comes with no guarantee of accuracy, and I'm just as likely to provide the most entertaining answer, as I am the factually correct answer.